Rebellion Against Older Sister

Belliyah: So in essence, you were a little rebellious to your older Sister, seeing she is the one trying to play the motherly role to your siblings and you do not want her to exhibit that role on you?

Queen Mother: Yes.. I did let my Father know, that she cannot play that role of a mother to me but can do that with my other younger siblings but not me. My neigh Sisters needed that because they do not know better and somehow my neigh Sister, wanted to go along with me because she thought I had things going for me, but I did not want that because that would weigh on me because I wanted to be by myself. 

And I have always wanted to be by myself, my neigh Sister and my older Sister became close, I was always missing on things happening around them. Though my step-mother and other women around in our neighborhood taught my older sister how to cook but the other things in the house, like cleaning and washing was done by the maid my step-mother hired, her name was Fastinia. 

However, it got to a time, when my older Sister was big enough that she decided to take charge of everything, because she wanted to prove to my father how good she is and she really does cooks well.

Queen Mother’s Relationship with Siblings

Belliyah: So but Queen Mother, was that how you felt about your older Sister, “that she was always trying to prove to your Father that she can take up those responsibilities” or was it that she was playing the older Sister role and not about proving herself?

Queen Mother: She was trying to prove to my Father, and she did not want my Father to eat other women’s food. She always wanted to please my Father to herself.

Proving Worth to Father

Motivation for Joining the Convent :

Belliyah: Lets go right back to when you were about entering the Convent and you mentioned that you had to go through a clinical test to ascertain if you were truly a virgin or not, which is part of the requirements in getting into the Convent as a Nun, and the fact that the result coming out, atesting you were a virgin, quickly spread across your neighborhood, how did you feel about that, did you felt like you did something worthy or someone, who won some kind of award, due to the congratulatory greetings that came from all corners?

Queen Mother: I felt really embarrassed. You do not want anybody to know about your sex life. And making them know that you do not have a sex life “Whatt!!!” that is something so embarrassing because at school, we know which girl and which boy usually walk home together, and I used to get along with about two or three boys, like John, Benjamin, etc. so at school, everyone usually kept an eye on each other.

Belliyah: But before this revelation, were there some guys who have asked you out before?

Queen Mother: Yesj, there were. And so, as the revelation of my sex life became a talk, when some are thinking that because she goes home with this certain boy, they should probably be dating. And I made friends with some of these guys, it wasn’t because of my beauty, but it was because of my personality at school, both in the intellectual aspect, and the fact that I sing, I was like the little child star at school who can perform like Marian Anderson at the school assembly, at the cafeteria, sing the anthem, sing in the church etc. And so that was why I gained such attention from some from the male students, and remember that I was in high school then and so I attracted some of the big boys at school, such as John, Benjamin, who were good football players, and usually when they have tournaments whether it’s the football or basketball competitions, because I was the lead singer, I’m usually in the bus going with them because I will sing there. But that revelation was truly embarrassing for me.

Journey to the Convent

Belliyah: On entering the Convent with the vision and the burning desire that you had, paint us a picture of your first experience in there?

Queen Mother: Had to get to the train to New York which seemed like it was taking forever to arrive while the Nuns were waiting for me.

Belliyah: Were they also high yellow Nuns or whites?

Queen Mother: They were high yellow. So they met me at the train station, they were almost white women and the better part of their faces were covered with the scarf and veil and you could only just see a little part of their faces like their nose, mouth, eyes and chin and they were truly something joyful to behold. And so when we alighted, the Porters had carried my trunks and because they were heavy and I could not carry them and I kept wondering how I would be able to see them and how they too would be able to know that I am the one. And so while I was on my thoughts, I immediately saw them, I started calling out to them “here I am” and told them, that I was from Florida and was coming to their Convent, and they began to smile. 

But before that, the Porter that was assigned to me, wanted to make sure, he put in their hands, remember, I was underage. So the Porter and the train made sure I got into the right hand. 

However, because I got there early, I had to wait because some of the Nuns have not gotten ready to receive me yet at the Convent. So I got permitted to go out with one of my god-brother from our neighborhood who was in the military that had also come to receive me to take me to he Convent, to make sure I got in the right hand safely. He had to take me first, to his military base before he took me to one of his relatives in Brooklyn, New York to wait a little bit until it was time for me to officially enter the Convent. And the little time I stayed, allowed me to get a glimpse of knowledge about New York City as it was a big City. I have never experienced such big places and things I experienced in New York before in my life, and it was a short but memorable experience as I visited some places like the Times Square and the subways, until the day came for the other Nuns to join, in order for them to officially take me into the Convent. And so I and the other two girls, rode along with the Nuns in a wagon which was driven by the Nuns themselves, and was taken to a place called Staten Island which was also known as the Novitiate House Novice which was a private place in New York, it’s an isolated Island away from Manhattan and so as the Nuns drove us in this blue station Wagon with the other two girls sitted in the back of the car with me. The car went on a ferry, which I have never experienced before, everyone were greeting and respected the Nuns, and if the Nuns wants to drive their car first in the ferries, everyone respectfully made ways for them to go first and waved at them, and some people who saw us recognized us, as the new women who were about to become a Nun, so we were treated as dignitaries as we kept going but the journey to Staten Island seem unending as we passed trees and trees and woods for days and it just looked like we were heading to the wilderness to find a place to stay and it was scary for me, I did not know if the other two girls felt same way, however, we later found out that the places we had passed with lots of trees and woods was called the Boulevard. Though it was a quite drive and between the Nuns with us, we did not know who was who, until we found out later that the one that was driving the car was the “Mother Superior” she was the one in charge. 

And so when we arrived at Staten Island and in the place they wanted us to be, which was the Convent, and when we got in, the first thing we saw was the crucifixion on the hill and we finally drove in from the gate, there were Nuns standing there to greet and receive us. And the Nuns where all dressed like Sister Laura and the other Nuns with us in the car, but we still didn’t know the difference between all of them as some were younger, some, older. And again, all these women were high yellow, including the other two girls that I was with in the car. One was from Caribbean, St.Thomas and the other, from Philadelphia, and I was the black black, and I was just looking around for any other women with my color, who actually looks like me. Then finally, I saw a couple of black women and they were from the Caribbean, they were not from Florida, Georgia or Alabama that I knew, they were from the up North. So when we got out of the car, we didn’t have to carry any of our luggage as the Nuns helped us. And because the Convent was situated on the hills and also a sea in its front, we were taken round to have a glimpse of it, and it was beautiful, and because I am accustomed to the sea and the beach, from the place I grew up in and visited with Sister Laura, I was familiar with the scene, but it was beautiful. Then we were taken to the chapel for the first time. And in that moment, after settling in, we were taken to our room and taught on how to wear our Nun clothes, in which we would from henceforth get accustomed to. 

And in the Convent, everything done, has its procedure, its time and done in an
orderly manner with the follow up of the bell sound. There’s a time to go for prayer, time for bathing, which is brought into your room,  time of breakfast. Some I found quite strange because it’s a different world entirely to me. And our “room” is not called a room like its known to be called but was called a Cell, with a single bed, a closet and a place where you have your basin for fetching water to bath in the pan which is your size, and we had to bath cold water every day, not hot nor warm water, like we would usually do in our homes. You couldn’t talk loud, there are certain places, you cannot even speak at all but can only whisper, which they showed us how to go about that, unlike me, who’s always loud. It was strange, but it was explained to us, that everything was about discipline, which starts off with a routine from your first arrival at the convent and so no more of the familiarity of the conventional way in which we did things before we entered the Convent. 

Everything done, was done with time and I was a girl who grew up with so much freedom and so all that was a total different world to me. So we learned there, during our early days by listening, watching and observing until the teaching starts and I was the youngest among them. And I was usually the last to be dished, no matter how hungry I was, however, the food were beautiful and tasty because the women that usually cooks the food, cooks well. And this was the way, it was for straight three years at the time of my testing time or period of becoming a Nun, which was known as the Nun-Material which some girls did not make it through, for the three years of the test period. They had to leave before the three years were over. Then were trained as a novice, and in the first time, when we arrived, we wear black. Our suitcases has only the number of clothes which we were told to bring, which we would wear for that three years. And in the second year, once you have been accepted to be a bride of Christ, then you become married to God, a real wedding is conducted, in which you would have the flower girls, which was a real wedding with Jesus, and in that ceremony, you are allowed to invite your family members to come celebrate your marriage to Jesus as the bride. 

And on the day of my wedding to Jesus as a bride, my neigh Sister, Doris came, and she was in college then, at Michigan, Detroit. And so, on my sister seeing the way they were treated as guests and the way the Nuns looked, began to nurse the desire to join me as a Nun too, however, she didn’t pursue in that direction. But she had paid me a visit at the Convent like two or three times.

Story Continues…